Pregnancy Hitting + Halloween

Shortly after Lake Powell, we found out that we were expecting! This wasn't a total surprise because we were trying, but we had been trying to get pregnant for a while now, so it was a little surprising. We had agreed that it would have been the last month trying, so its ironic that it was the month that we actually got pregnant.
This baby is going to be wonderful, but it has been a little bit of a bumpy road to get here. First, we debated for a couple of years about having another one. Our kids are amazing, and our life is busy, and I just wasn't sure if we needed to have another one. After praying and fasting about it about a million times, I really just felt like because I was wishy washy about the whole thing and John really wanted another one, we should just go for it. But like I said, unlike the other times we got pregnant, this one took a little while. But it all worked out for the best. I am so, so glad I wasn't pregnant for the big trips we had this summer. That would have been a very different trip had we already been expecting.

 We found out that we were expecting and just a couple of days later, pregnancy sickness hit and hit hard. First, I couldn't believe how soon it hit me. Normally people don't start feeling it until about 6 weeks or so, but this time is was at 4 weeks for me.
Next, I couldn't believe how quickly it got bad. It was just one weekend I started feeling a little queasy, and then on Monday, Eliza got a stomach bug (which there is nothing worse that cleaning up someone else's puke when you already feel nauseous!). After that day, I was sunk. The next day I tried to go to Vertuccio Farms with my friends, Erica and Carly and their kiddos, which was fun. They have a fall festival with a ton of cute stuff. In fact, I thought it was so darling that we brought the older kids, and came back that evening.
But I was so sick that day. Apparently it was written all over my face because Erica asked if I was pregnant. And surprise! She is too! We were pretty in sync because of being around each other so much, so we are due only days apart. Although if you were just going off of our cycles we would be due the same day.  Crazy! Apparently, they decided to try only for one month because of all the complications of her pregnancies and didn't think it would work because it normally takes them a while, but it worked the first time for them. So last month for us, only month for them, I guess it was meant to be to have a pregnancy twin.

 Unfortunately the next few weeks, crawled by at a snail's pace. Those weeks felt like months to me. I was so sick all the time. I remember texting Erica just that weekend saying I was so tired of being sick already. No food sounded good, all smells were nauseating, and I even couldn't stand for more than 30 seconds without getting woozy and nauseous.

It really makes me appreciate how well I normally feel. I remember crying almost every night because I was so worn down from this situation. I know this sounds so dramatic, but I just felt like all the joy was stolen out of my life. I felt so trapped by the pregnancy symptoms and the whole situation. I couldn't do anything that I normally enjoyed, not even hugging my kids because the smell of them made me so nauseous. I have never known before how oppressive it is to feel so terrible all of the time without a break.

Side note, this harvest festival was really cute. The rides, slides, zip line, bouncy mats. They had a lot of fun that night. 

 Back to me complaining though, ;) we quickly learned that I couldn't do much of anything. Nothing made me sicker than trying to stand and walk. Turns out you need to do that a lot if you are going to do anything productive. I couldn't even drive without getting some nasty motion sickness. John quickly took over the tasks of running everything. And I mean everything: laundry, shopping, cooking, cleaning, everything. One thing that actually helped a ton was that he took over getting the older girls to school in the morning. Wow, that made such a difference! One of the worst parts was that I would wake up in the middle of the night, too nauseous to go back to sleep, but too tired to get anything (like crackers) to settle my nausea. So I quickly learned to keep crackers by my bed and John helped a ton because when I would finally get back to sleep, he just slipped out and quietly got the kids to school in the morning. He has had to sacrifice the gym in the morning to do this, so we both are getting a little chubby (haha, he has gained maybe a pound and I have gained like 20!).
Like I said though, that sleeping in made such a difference. And by some miracle, (like seriously, a miracle) Holland slept in for a while until about 9:30 every day. Wow, that helped so so much. Probably one of the reasons I needed that much sleep was that I got some anti-nausea medicine from my doctor, hallelujah! It wasn't perfect, and it made me crazy sleepy. But any relief when you are feeling that terrible is amazing.

I barely made it through the Halloween party at the Botanical Gardens. Still cute though. I love the pumpkin displays. There are so many, I only took a few pictures of my favorites. 

 So between sleeping in, medicine, and a lot of crackers and ginger ale we made it through, more or less okay. The only thing that sounded good to me was potatoes and pasta (very different from my normal eating habits)  so we ate a lot of that. My kids probably liked that part of it, but they were concerned about the rest. I think they thought I caught Ellie's stomach bug from that very first day, and I just couldn't shake it. Miriam asked John once or twice, if he was sure that I didn't have cancer. Kind of breaks my heart. I just didn't want to tell the girls until I was okay with the whole world knowing, and until I was feeling a little better so I could be a little happy with them.

 I was seriously blessed through this though, especially with Holland. She went through the most amazing phase during this awful time for me. She slept in! She was unbelievably content at just being at home with me, not going anywhere, or doing anything with me. She told me a handful of times, that its okay for me to take a nap, she'll just play in her room. Seriously! I didn't even have to turn on shows for her or anything, she was happy to just chill at home. It probably helped that I didn't really ask her to do anything either. And there were a few times, I could tell she wanted us to do more normal things together. "Mommy, do you want to help me unload the dishwasher? It's really fun!"

I am so thankful that I have about the sweetest kids in the world. Hopefully this new one continues the tradition. 

 At the botanical gardens, Miriam had to get a pic in her hula constume  with the hula pumpkins.

Also, it turns out that toy glasses on my kids are adorable and so are owls.

Nevertheless, the Halloween season, plus most of November up until Thanksgiving, was pretty torturous. We watched a handful of harvest themed Hallmark movies during that time, and I think they might be forever ruined for me. It will just remind me too much of feeling like death.
I almost didn't go to the ward Halloween trunk or treat, but I just wanted to get out of the house. I had the idea for the Christmas themed trunk with the pumpkin snowman, and John made it happen. A little to passive aggressive towards Halloween, perhaps?

 We made it through somehow though. I didn't take that many pictures during this time, but Holland was my little silver lining through it all so I had to take a couple of pictures of her.

 John was amazing too. I can't imagine having gone through that time with a less supportive husband. He seriously did it all without complaining or losing compassion for. That's incredible. I had to take a pic of him sorting through various coupons to go shopping. He deserves some kind of medal for all of that.
Also, Holland and I had to take a selfie one day because we were both wearing black. She said, we were both "screen slavers" from the movie Incredibles 2.

Eventually though, we made it past the worst. I slowly started doing things again. Although, John is still doing morning school routine because he is amazing. We even went bowling with a preschool friend one day. It took a while before I could go shopping or cook or anything, but it is slowly coming back. Thank heavens!