Unforeseeable Consequences

So at the end October, we had a visit from my parents and grandparents. We had been wanting to do this for a while--get my grandparents out of the house and down to some warm sunny weather. The catalyst for actually making this happen was that sweet little Eliza was given a solo in the Primary Program to sing "I Stand All Amazed." So they wanted to come down to see her perform that.

The trip started pretty well. Picked up from the airport, come relax at my apartment. My grandparents were staying at a nearby hotel (the same one we spent a week at earlier this summer), but my grandpa even managed to climb the stairs to the apartment a couple of times. So pretty good.

On the Saturday we drove up to Tonto Natural Bridge. It was a fun little drive, less that 2 hours. It took us from the desert, through the mountains with lots of Saguaros, to finally the beautiful forest.

Tonto Natural Bridge is the largest travertine bridge in the world. It was really impressive, and we had a really enjoyable afternoon there, picnicking and hiking. Unfortunately whenever I think about it, I get a sick feeling in my stomach about everything that happened afterward. It is a pretty tainted memory.

Regardless, it was a very cool location, and I would definitely recommend visiting it.

I liked this sidewalk on the top of the bridge where you could see through.

Such a pretty part of Arizona.

We also visited the zoo, and saw Eliza sing. (See the following pictures.) Unfortunately the day of the zoo, Grandma said she wasn't feeling well--just really woozy. This progressed the whole day and by the next morning, my sister (who works in the medical field) suggested we take her into the ER and make sure she hadn't had a stroke.

Well, this left me in charge of my girls and grandpa. Doesn't sound that hard, but he needs a lot of care, and I was super frustrated to be stuck in a stupid La Quinta Hotel room again. Not to mention being really pregnancy sick.

What is worse is that I didn't have that bad of a day compared to everyone else. At the ER they found severe bleeding on Grandma's brain. It looked like she had hit her head and some point in the last few weeks which had led to a bunch of bleeding. Also, there was some fresh bleeding from a head injury in the last day or two. All on the inside, which was pooling up and putting pressure on her brain to the point where it was being shifted pretty severely.

Ellie is being an elephant in this photo.

I feel like in order to fully explain the awfulness of this situation, you really have to understand how capable and healthy my Grandma had always been. I grew up next door to her. In a lot of ways she has been another mother figure in my life. We have always been close. My grandpa has been in declining health for years. Pretty gradual, but definitely losing a lot of his abilities. We didn't even understand the extent of this decline until we were in charge of his care. Physically and mentally he was just not what he used to be. Not terribly surprising considering he is 90.

The point is that my Grandma was not like my Grandpa. She had a better memory that I did, kind of by a lot. They have traveled extensively, and she could rattle off things from all of the places that they had been. She was super active. She still woke up at the crack of dawn to go take care of her enormous yard and garden. She was the total care giver for my grandpa and would still do things like throw a dinner for all of her descendants using real china. She would mow the lawn, plan trips, and even be a pen pal to my little Ellie.

So to see her decline in a matter of 24 hours to being completely unresponsive was, to put it mildly, shocking. She was in the ICU and the neurosurgeon said that we had two options--either let this take its course (maybe the blood would reabsorb on its own, maybe not) or have brain surgery to evacuate the bleeding. He said that he really couldn't give a recommendation on which would give her the greatest chance of survival. Either way super serious and life threatening. Whoa. On a younger person (she is 88) the surgery might have seemed better, but to an elderly person, they would just not expect her brain to bounce back the way it should. Not to mention the trauma to her body from surgery. Pneumonia can be a problem really easily.

Despite this we decided that we had to at least try something. So she had the surgery. It seemed to go as well as expected. But I won't lie. That night was Hell. I was at the hospital, and she was ranting and raving. She would get stuck on a word and just say it over and over again. It sounded like she was trying to pray and talk to her father. She would yell about being in pain. My grandpa (who we didn't realize had limited mental capacities) kept trying smoother her yells with kisses. It was just...horrific.

Fortunately that was as bad as she got. And miraculously she has recovered a lot. She spent a week in the ICU and a week in the normal part of the hospital. Then two weeks in a severe rehab facility. She went from not being responsive, barely being able to hold a toothbrush, to walking assisted. I can't fully describe the craziness of that month. We tried to provide meals for everyone. Sheila and some of her family came down to help with everything. There was some crazy stuff with Grandpa that made everything a lot worse. And on top of everything I was really, really pregnancy sick. There was just a lot of driving to visit, prepping meals, keeping the kids entertained and acting appropriately every day at the different facilities, etc. That last was particularly hard because my kids really had a hard time being so out of the normal routine. Particularly little Miriam was a battle every day.

Despite this we got through it. Grandma got strong enough to fly home to Utah. I feel so bad saying that because it obviously isn't over, but now we are removed from it. She is not nearly so mobile as she used to be, but the biggest lasting problem is that her vision took a huge hit. She has been super depressed about this. It is so awful because she can't see to do anything that she would enjoy doing--writing histories, reading, quilting, etc. Even seeing the food on her plate is an issue. She actually recovered well enough that they gave her the okay to go home, but my mom has to be there most of the day to care for her, which is a big stress to my mom. Hopefully the vision will improve slowly so she can get some quality of life back.

Like I said this situation revealed how much my grandpa had declined--physically and mentally. We decided he needed to be put into a care facility, which is better for everyone but we all feel terrible that he is so determined that it is a waste of money. Those places are expensive, and I know that my mom is stressed about how to afford everything. In order to get government assistance they need to spend all of their assets first, which my grandparents are super opposed to. It is just kind of awful.

Despite this I really need to remember how remarkable her recovery has been. It was a miracle. It is good to call her on the phone and chat with her. She listens to audiobooks, but can't ever see to start it again if she turns it off. I still can't believe all of this happened because they came down to visit us. Talk about unforeseeable consequences!